Looking for Europe 7: BCDO North, all the feels

June 2-3rd

We got back to the house of the friend we were staying with very late that night – she had put out a happy birthday table for me, really sweet! We were all tired so I opened it in the morning to the accompaniment of some spectacular 90s cheese on the TV, it contained some nice arty gifts, and also some silly birthday gear for the VIP photos! We took our time packing, and then drove up to BCDO, set up the tent, and eventually got on site. I met up with my parents, there for the day, which was nice. It was a beautiful site, a big old house by a picturesque lake, with a boathouse and lots of waterlillies, birds and flowers, and also a big yellow hot air balloon saying ‘Jesus loves you!’ on the side! However the weather did not show it to its full effect, and we had rain for most of the day!

We found out that Switchfoot were doing another interview, so after getting lunch and hanging out with fellow fans and my parents for a bit we went over to see that. We ended up sitting in on the previous interview with a worship band (who credited Switchfoot for inspiration, but had not learnt the secret of playing full on, loud, crazy rock shows in a small intimate venue a la Paris!), and then there was some uncertainty about whether Switchfoot were around or not. But eventually Drew and Romey were located, and came in for an interview. They were very good again, but funnily kept getting asked questions about how they started out – despite both of them having joined a little later than the others! They said hi to us when they came in and saw us there. At one poibt Drew commented on how goid the tea was in England and said ‘I don’t know how you do it!’ I may have called out ‘Boil the water!’ 😀

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VIP was right afterwards, we were met at the merch table and taken right over to the grounds of the house where the tourbus was, and they used the bus as the photo backdrop. It stopped raining just for that! I felt a huge amount of nervous excitement meeting Jon again after the solo show, it literally felt like I was meeting him for the first time, like it was all new again! I gave him the letter I had written for that show but hadn’t had the chance to pass on to him there, in which I’d reaffirmed that I was doubly a megafan of his as his solo music meant as much to me as Switchfoot’s, and that he had a fan for life. I was so in awe!

Jude had themed her VIP photo this time around the SwitchFam, so it was appropriate we were there with our friend, and I could tell them they had set me up with all the birthday stuff. She was so chilled, and handed Drew a piece of artwork to open later. In my photo I had on a huge birthday badge, saying ’34 today’, which I had stuck a ‘2’ over: ‘It’s 34 really but SwitchFam are always all 24, right?!’ Drew sang a line of it, and Tim wore the ‘happy birthday’ shades! Then Jude got a very silly podcast-style facebook live video of the guys sending a message to the SwitchFam group!

As with BDCO South, there was nothing else on the programme any of us particularly wanted to see (that day at least; had we not been running off the following morning again there were bands on I’d have gone to see). A fellow fan had brought her little bear mascot along to the festival, so afterwards we had a bit of time for some more silly photos with him and Kitty Jon before the show, very cute!

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The show was awesome, again, but it was very wet. We just about got to the front again, but it was a squash. A lot of water had to be swept off the stage before they started, so I was a bit freaked when Jon came right out and stood on the speakers… and then got up on the wet crowd barrier a couple of times!! (Please don’t slip, please don’t slip..!) He came right over to us twice.

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They rocked awesomely and gave us a lot of emotion too. Jon referenced the rain a couple of times, for example holding his hand up to catch some on the appropriate line of Stars. They played I Won’t Let You Go again and Jude had a total emotional meltdown; that song brings a lot to the surface. So it felt powerful when they then played We Are One, and I had my arm around her, singing it out, and Jon came right over to us to sing too, like he deliberately wanted to do something nice for Jude. Afterwards I spent a while just sat with her, trying to find a way to comfort her, but it was hard to know what to do or say – I guess as others had found me at the previous BCDO when I had found myself in that sort of state. My mum found us, and gave her a massive cuddle!

 

There was no aftershow, to be expected as they were going straight off to play in Slovakia the next day (the only show we couldn’t get to), but we went to the campfire just in case! It was really nice, small and fun, and we sang some worship songs, especially Rend Collective. The band tried to play Dare, but they mangled it so much we couldn’t really sing along! 😀 Eventually I took a wrung-out Jude back to the tent to get some sleep, and sent out a prayer request as it seemed everyone was battling their own minds somewhat.

The following morning we woke too early; the sun was blazing in and the campsite was awake. On the other hand, it was perfect weather for our friend to go out and get some stunning photos on site, which hadn’t been possible the day before, and for us to get the tent properly packed down in the dry weather. We got off site in good time, had an early and chilled out lunch, and then went our separate ways, our friend to catch her train and us to the airport bound for the final show in Budapest!

The airport was hell. I decided I am never flying again if I can possibly help it! There was just so much hassle and stress and getting through the airport took literally hours. I can’t help thinking I can put up with a whole day on a bus easily in comparison, when you can just walk up half an hour before departure, show your passport and stay with your luggage! Delays meant we came close to missing our connecting flight, which added to the stress, but thankfully we made it ok in the end. We got to our rather interesting hostel, and I got a bad night’s sleep, but thankfully Jude recovered just fine.

 

Read Part 6 here and Part 8 here

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Looking for Europe 6: in London, with Jon Foreman, for the first time

June 1st

Today. Wow.

We checked out of the hostel and pretty much spent the whole day travelling back to London for our emergency appointment with a Jon Foreman solo show! We had planned a morning in Köln and an afternoon in Brussels, but in the end had only about 30 minutes to get a drink in a café in the Brussels train station (featuring a rather awesome statue of a horse dressed as a zebra sat at one of the tables!!) before boarding the Eurostar. Once we got back we had to repack the car since we had an extra person to fit in that evening, and still had to actually properly pack away the tent, which we had hastily shoved wet into the car after BCDO. Miraculously that worked out pretty well!

Then we headed into London, with Jon’s music playing on the stereo. At one point we found ourselves following a white van, which had the words ‘all dead inside’ written on the back in the dirt – which was firstly a really weird thing to see written on the back of a van, and secondly a Jon lyric (I commented that ‘nothing left inside’ would have been more usual if you were going to stick a line of that song on a van…)! Driving in felt like a treasure hunt. London had a magic to it suddenly!

Unfortunately there was a horrible incident involving an unreliable satnav, car parking in London and a panic attack, but once we were all safely parked up and at the show in a little venue opposite Great Portland Street tube station, we met up with more wonderful SwitchFam and the magic returned.

The show was delayed starting because, having sold out despite being announced only two days beforehand, there was apparently a queue right round the block to get in and Jon wanted to get everyone inside before starting. My heart was happy at hearing that! I hope he feels the love, and realises how much he is wanted here. He came out on stage and explained, and then brought out Josh the guitar tech, and said he would guitar tech for him that night instead and let him play us a few songs whilst the venue filled up. Josh was very good, and seemed so happy to be playing in London! It was amazing of him to be doing that on what should have been his day off.

Eventually the show began! To begin we saw tour manager Chico in the crowd handing out paper on which to write our request set list, but the paper never reached us – I think it only got half way round the front few rows! We thought we might miss out on putting requests in but as the show went on we started to write requests on any bit of paper we could find and started passing them forward. Jon was picking up papers by the handful and only choosing one song each time, so we ended up putting our requests in multiple times as we saw ours passed over again and again! There were some funny awkward left/right jokes about which side of the stage was winning on the requests (‘… your left, my right..!’) And he started to have fun with what the requests were written on, reading out the wrong side of the notes (receipts, theatre tickets..!). I was torn between wanting to record the entire show, and just wanting to put the ghost machine away entirely and just fully immerse myself in the moment. After recording a couple of songs, the camera made the decision for me by declaring itself totally full, so I don’t have a lot of pictures or videos.

Jon played:

Caroline

Terminal – watch here

The World You Want

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The Shadow Proves The Sunshine – watch here

Resurrect Me – ‘Can anyone play the guitar..? No, seriously?’ He pulled a girl up on stage to play whilst he jammed on the harmonica, and she was absolutely brilliant! I loved seeing the two of them jam together! There was a lot going on in him as he sang this one, he showed some real frustration, anger even, on the line ‘but I’m still waking up with myself’, it was intense.

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Live It Well

Wouldn’t It Be Nice – there was a disco ball!! 😀 Jon asked for the lights to be put out so we could just have that! He said it kind of made him think about asking a girl to skate at a roller disco and just how incredibly awkward that is when you’re 15 😀

This Is Home

Just Rob Me – at the request of one of my friends!

In My Arms – this was requested by a couple who had the song at their wedding; when Jon asked who, several of us admitted we’d had it at our weddings! He seemed honoured 🙂

The Blues! Wow! What a powerful song, I don’t think he’s played that in a long time but it was amazing

Only Hope – this he prefaced with a bizarre introduction involving hitchhiking, surfing and tomatoes, which had pretty much nothing to do with the song except ‘… and this song was on our next album.’ 😀 There was also a really funny moment when whistling broke out across the audience, he said there was an incognito whistle chorus group infiltrating the audience but they won’t let on who or where they are! 😀 He couldn’t see who was doing it, it was hilarious 😀 Watch it here and judge for yourself (It’s not my video so it’s infinitely better than any of mine, but it’s such a beautiful thing I had to share! More videos from the night on that channel too, and all brilliantly filmed 🙂 )

Cure For Pain – this was my request! It’s one of my absolute favourites of his, which I’ve never heard live but know that he does play. Plus it felt appropriate. He said as he picked the paper up ‘I’m going to play this one because it says ‘Cure For Pain – please??’ – so polite, so London!’ Score. 😀

House Of God Forever – he got some girls to sing together on the second verse, which was lovely. None of us were brave enough to sing on our own, but they dared to together. And they took a selfie on the stage afterwards, so sweet!

Dare You To Move

Vice Verses – Wowowowow!! This was the most beautiful performance of this I’ve ever seen. He was really feeling it for one thing; as he introduced it he talked about sitting on his rock in the ocean in the night, the place he goes to think and wrestle with the darkness, the only thing that doesn’t change… 😥 But the way he sang it too… My legs disappeared from under me almost completely! I really would have fallen under it except the stage was high and I didn’t want to miss anything, so I leaned onto the edge of the stage and just soaked it in, and the weak knees spread into head to toe happy shivers… wow!

Lean On Me – I got out my thank you banner, the only one I brought with me, and Jon bent down to it and gave me a sweet, emotional smile and put his hands together in a silent ‘thank you!’ 🙂

Your Love Is Strong

Here is a friend’s playlist of almost the whole show, including Josh! You won’t get the full effect of being there, but it is a little taste.

 

So that was my first ever solo show, finally 🙂

I was SO, SO happy!! Wowow*. I really don’t think I was prepared for how wonderful that would be, even after years of listening to Jon’s music, seeing him play with Switchfoot and at aftershows, and watching solo shows online. Nothing prepared me for the first-hand experience of being immersed in that beautiful voice, just minimally accompanied, for a full two hours, and how nice it would be to be a part of Jon’s inclusive, participatory performance style. I was absolutely blown away.

Afterwards me and the other ‘fam just had massive grins on our faces and I was literally bouncing and skipping, I felt like a little kid! I ended up just sat on the kerb outside the venue reliving it all inside, smiling and smiling in a happy dream. All is well. I felt so fully healed from the pain of missing the last show. I got everything I need…

And Jon so completely owns me now as a fan, I am 100% sold out, for life.

Yes.

Great Portland Street is now by far my favourite tube station!

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*I know what you’re thinking, but I’m thinking I haven’t said ‘wow’ as many times as that show warranted 😀

Read Part 5 here

Looking for Europe 5: Cologne, the family gathering

May 31st

Alas we had to leave Basel! We travelled to Köln, and had a short time to look around the cathedral and hang out in the hostel before it was show time again!

We immediately met some friends outside the venue and hung out chatting to them and other SwitchFam for a while. Then Jon came out, and came over to us; we said hi and I told him we’d managed to book new trains and that I was so excited as I’m as much a fan of his solo work as Switchfoot. He wouldn’t look at my requests; he said it’s not how it works, I’d have to add them to the pieces of paper at the show and build the set list like that! Then suddenly some other fans noticed him, and he got somewhat mobbed for autographs and selfies! That would have been me two years ago! He’s so sweet, and it was really lovely seeing fans meeting him for the first time, though I feel a bit bad for him.

At the sound check before we got let in we heard them playing a song we didn’t recognise – was it a cover, or a new song?!? And then Lonely Nation and Saltwater Heart, oh how we wanted to be in there!! Eventually they let us in, and the treats continued as they played Restless and, on request, What It Costs! Tim was brilliant, despite forgetting the words, it was a very special moment. Here are my videos of Restless and What It Costs; unfortunately I meant it when I said I’d taken too many picures in Basel and my camera was getting so full it wasn’t filming properly, so there’s a couple of recording gaps, but you get the idea.

The venue was beautiful, an old theatre with red curtains and retro lighting, and a modern café out front with coloured glass blocks in the walls and ceilings ‘where the light shines through’. We met some more lovely fans, a fun guy visiting from the US, and several Latin American fans.

At Meet ‘n’ Greet my t-shirt (the Wonderlands bird) got some comments, the guys said they don’t see many of those (I said it’s a favourite!), and they liked it (I handed Jon the credit for that!). Then I got my Where I Belong banner in the picture – we got in a mess holding it up somehow with me on the wrong side of it, and all ended up laughing in the picture and the guys mucking about with it, it was funny! Anyway I was next to Tim so I took the opportunity to thank him for playing What It Costs, that I’d wanted to hear that for a long time, and I told them that EP (The Edge Of The Earth, TEOTE) is my favourite. They said they thought it was good too! I told them I thought it was so well crafted. Tim said he wanted to play the song TEOTE (I said yeah!), and I said my dream was to hear Slow Down My Heartbeat live – I’d heard it just once on big speakers and it was huge, it would be epic live, they were like ‘wow, yeah!’ and Tim did impressions of the crashing drums (Drew – ‘definitely mouth drums there…’).

Then the show; Jude got to stand sidestage after the really awesome opening band (at one point all playing the drums at once, and breaking a piano stool at the end!). When we saw her appear there we all went crazy like she was the band, and she was working the crowd like a pro! It was so much fun!

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The set list was nothing new in spite of the awesome sound check, but it was amazing as the crowd was really hyped! Another fan (guy!) up front near me was ‘fangirling’ before they came on, asking if anyone could name one bad Switchfoot song as he didn’t think it possible – I told him even better, that there wasn’t one bad Jon Foreman song at all! I showed him my Wonderlands t-shirt and got a high five! But that crowd – wow! Crowd surfing, moshing, chanting, 3 encores..! Jon said again it was one of his favourite shows and thanked the crowd for making it.

They actually went mostly for gentler songs, a lot of ‘campfire’ with Only Hope, Hello Hurricane, Live It Well, Dare, 24. During the first encore we finally got a disco ball for Float, which was just the best thing ever, and I Won’t Let You Go and Dare. The second encore they played Stars and something else (we all have forgotten what it was – clearly enjoying ourselves too much to make a note of it!), and the third encore 24, with just Jon to begin with and the others coming on at the end. A lot of the concert I just spent soaking in the beautiful music (Only Hope, Dare, 24), or vocals (those yells on Float and especially WIB… wow!). They added Oh Gravity to the set but didn’t play Healer Of Souls. It was awesome though; Romey came to the front a lot, they all came over to where I was stood and at times could hardly be playing closer. Tim broke a sweat, the first time I’ve seen that as he always looks the definition of cool! And I high fived him and Chad at the end, and even Jon at one point – I don’t usually bother trying to touch the guys when they’re up front taking hands, but it felt right that time, I wanted to thank and congratulate them.

I got some eye contact from Jon and Drew at times, including when Jon was introducing Where I Belong and Where The Light Shines Through (WTLST) and he came over to where I was stood and looked to me as if to ask for the banners! When I gave him them he held them up and introduced them to the crowd ‘A friend of mine made this beautiful artwork…’ Wow! And this time he handed them back to me himself too 🙂 There was also a moment when Jon sang part of a song ‘with me’; quite often he’ll make eye contact with us whilst singing, but only for a line or less, but this was a good couple of lines, and we sang it to each other with big grins on both our faces! That was so much fun that I actually forgot which song it happened during, as immediately afterwards I was just left thinking ‘Wow, I can’t believe that just happened!!’!

I loved the way Jon was directing things tonight, I even noticed him calling what were effectively samba breaks in WTLST with the guys! And he’s got me in on the performance too! He’s really in charge 🙂

Then, naturally, there was an aftershow, over in the pretty square by the amazing old church down the street. He was going to play in the middle of the square but there was a disapproving-looking statue there, so Jon said ‘Let’s not play here, he doesn’t look very impressed!’ and took us over to the trees instead! He played Restless, June and Johnny (as good live as recorded! So lovely!), Just Rob Me (even funnier, he cracks me up!! We gave him a really great ‘traditional German’ YEEEEEEHAH!, much to the bemusement of passers by!), and Your Love Is Strong. He thanked us all for doing this at the end(!) and said that it’s so special to him – oh my heart!! I thanked him and totally let him go this time with the crowd following him. That was hard but absolutely the right thing to do.

I went back to the hostel with a bunch of other fam who were also staying there or nearby, singing songs in the street (Enough To Let Me Go, appropriate as I just did 🙂 ), and then back in the hostel on the guitar (I had a good growl by then from screaming so much, so it was fun to sing!) – Southbound Train, Vice Verses, Thrive, Learning To Breathe, This Is Your Life, all with all the JonForemanisms replicated exactly! An after-aftershow. I love the SwitchFam! What a beautiful night 🙂

Read Part 4 here and Part 6 here

 

Looking for Europe 4: Basel, hidden treasure

May 29th-30th

Wow! Wowow! Basel is gorgeous!

We spent the morning in Paris, seeing the Seine and Notre Dame cathedral, battling too many stairs, and looking for food/Sprite/ icecream/ peace with varying degrees of success! We had some fun with Kitty Jon, and randomly bumped into a fellow fan from last night’s show, which was nice, and eventually got expensive but delicious sandwiches in a café.

Then it was off to Basel! The journey was beautiful, and unexpectedly, so was Basel!

We fell in love with the place almost instantly. After a few stressy days lugging suitcases, overspending and failing to find any grocery shops, we were rather too excited to see food shops, ramps, clean and unpotholed pavements, and finally feel like we were not going to get run over! We got a bit hyper; I think I ran into the first food shop we found, went straight up to the bread and said ‘it’s so nice to meet you!’ before buying some, and some fruit, and consuming the fruit almost immediately despite intending it for breakfast..! You’d think we’d never seen fruit or bread before! The town was pretty, and the hostel ‘amazeballs’ :P, situated in this courtyard complex of arty little businesses and full of surreal artwork itself. And I really wished I had the time, money and luggage to be able to go shopping, the shops were lovely! We ended the day goofing around in the hostel, dancing, internetting, making terrible puns and literally moonwalking on the ceiling!

On show day #4, we had a wonderful morning cooking and eating our own real food, during which time I think I finally shook off the tears and began to feel whole again, then an afternoon just wandering and seeing the town, eating far too much vegan icecream and taking too many pictures, it was so beautiful!

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We arrived at the venue just in time to find Jon giving an interview for a radio station, and he performed The Most Gorgeous Acoustic Version Of Float Ever Heard! Stunning 🙂 We saw the guys going in and out the venue again and spoke to Tim about their day off in the mountains, to Drew, to Mark Foreman as he and Jan were there – they’re so nice! And to Jon – I thanked him for Float and told him that’s the best acoustic version I’d ever heard. He said he’d not played it like that before, and I told him I really liked it (which was a huge understatement; my JonForemania was going through the roof!).

Eventually they disappeared off inside, and (alas, whilst we were out the room) sound checked Healer Of Souls and Hope Is The Anthem. When I heard them start Healer Of Souls I whooped, jumped and ran to the doorway, and applauded even though I was in another room! It was that great though 😀 And ‘Hope…’ was intensely beautiful; I’d just been talking to a fellow fan about which songs we’d most like to hear and those two songs were our respective picks, so it was very special. And then we got to go in, and they soundchecked Shadow Proves. Wowow; happy shivers. Jon was singing so, so well that day, and they were soloing like crazy and sounding incredible.

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Then it was time for Meet ‘n’ Greet. I was fangirling to Jon after the sound check, and he pulled me up first for a photo! I told him I was trying to rearrange our trains to get to his show as we were meant to be in Belgium that day, and he said ‘if it’s meant to happen it’ll happen.’ I got my ’10th show’ banner out (‘This is my last banner and it’s a special one; I never imagined I’d get to this!’) Tim said ‘Hey it’s Jon’s 10th show too!’ as he was holding it! Drew gave me a hug and asked how I was, I said ‘Much better!’, and he and Tim gave me sweet smiles and I thanked them. I then managed to show Jon my diary, where I had written out my survival strategy after my depressive episode at BCDO; I’d wanted to show him in Paris, but it had been too rushed and I’d felt too fragile. I showed him, and read to him, what I’d written about lyrics as a part of this, and told him that so many of the lyrics that met me in those moments were his, just one of many things he’s done for me, that I had been there in the dark with his songs meeting me and pointing me towards light and hope. He said it was good advice that he too could use… Ohhh..! Oh my heart.

At the end of Meet ‘n’ Greet he drew me this little picture – so random! I just asked him if he would draw me something and with no hesitation whatsoever that is what he drew! I got talking to Romey whilst he drew it so I only saw it afterwards! Romey asked to see it too, and laughed and shook his head when he saw it!

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I asked Romey was he vegan as rumoured, and he told me he wasn’t but was mostly veggie, so I asked how he found Paris as I almost didn’t eat and he laughed and said yeah he had to eat meat, and I told him Basel is amazing and that I’d eaten so much icecream! I also told him that I wasn’t getting much chance to talk to them but wanted to say how incredible they are all playing at the moment (which he laughed off!) and how honoured I am to be on this tour with them playing like this. Then… he asked after M!! (which he opened with ‘are you married?’ :D) I said yeah, he’s hard to miss, he was with me at the last tour (he remembered!!), and at BCDO (he hadn’t noticed him there). What a memory!!

Ah the show… alas the speakers were too far forward from the stage, so despite how incredible the sound check had been, we couldn’t hear the gorgeous vocals at all from the stage, bar what we could hear audibly 😦 It would have sounded much better from the back, but that would have meant not being at the front and getting to interact with the guys as they played. Unfortunately it meant I didn’t catch what Jon said to me as he addressed me a couple of times from the stage, though I know he thanked me for each flag, told the crowd I’d brought them from England, the artwork was beautiful, and mentioned ‘friends from England’.

 

He picked out so many people from the crowd this time, far from just me, it was lovely to see him making moments for people. They played Bull again, and finally played me Healer Of Souls (video here), and then played Vice Verses ‘for Jemima’, who was one of several fans wearing a Vice Verses t-shirt.

 

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There was no aftershow, I think too many people left straight afterwards, but we did get to speak to Jon again as he still came out to hang with us – and whilst we were there I found out from the ‘fam back home that his solo tickets were on sale!! I couldn’t believe I was literally there with him and he hadn’t told me! I told him he was in trouble 😀 but I forgave him immediately when he said he’d only just found out himself. That was funny. 😀 I told him I’d do whatever I could to rearrange plans, and he said again if it’s meant to be it’ll happen… let’s hope…

I booked the tickets when I got back! I ended up buying a whole new set of train tickets but it was clear it was going to be worth the expense to me. We walked back to the hostel via several adorable kitties and could hear crickets singing, and found some fun sculptures. Basel wins!

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Read part 3 here and Part 5 here

Survival strategy

I wrote this in my diary the night I missed Jon Foreman’s aftershow/solo show at the BCDO festival; it’s a survival strategy for getting through a depressive episode, so I have it to look back on the next time the ‘wolf‘ starts beating me around the head with painful thoughts. It’s the process I went through that night, and over the following couple of days, firstly to withstand the immediate assault, and then to calm myself down from it, and then to find God, and light, and hope, through it all, and eventually to recover.

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The little note at the bottom I added in the morning. It felt like sometimes you have to lose the occasional battle even when you’re winning the war, and that it’s ok that sometimes ‘chaos wins’. With no apologies for quoting a lyric, because it was one of the lyrics that shifted my perspective that night, this episode was the shadow that proved the sunshine; suddenly facing a (temporary) deep and scary darkness turned up the contrast on my life, and giving the tears to God as a desperate prayer I really did see hope, and joy, and every good thing, in a breathtaking light.

Hope is strongest set against despair.

The Light shines the brightest in the dark.*

 

*John 1:5, The Bible

Looking for Europe 3: Paris – therapy

May 28th

Well that was healing! What an incredible show!

The day did not start well, waking up at 4am with a heavy heart and having to pack down a dew-drenched tent and carry it to the car, then getting lost en route and almost missing the train. But miracles happened; time dilated somehow so we arrived just on time, and the train was delayed and the staff sympathetic. We made it! And we got to the hostel ok, and even got our room early so we could shower and change before the show (much needed in the heat!), though we ended up in a stressful rush but then had to wait ages for the VIP event.

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But when we eventually did get in, Switchfoot were soundchecking Holy Water and Oh Gravity, two of the best songs I’ve ever heard live! That was really awesome. Because Meet and Greet was running late I barely got a chance to tell Jon about last night, but I got to say a bit and told him this show was my therapy. I worried afterwards it had sounded more of a moan than an apology for not being there/ ‘this-is-what-you-mean-to-me’ as I’d meant it to be. But he sympathised a little and told me there would be other aftershows… and then made everything worse by telling me, casually, he was playing a solo show in the UK, that week, whilst we are travelling!!

I was literally speechless. I think I just stared open mouthed with my head going ‘Nooo!!! Why didn’t I know this?! I cannot miss two solo shows in a week after waiting all these years?!’

I cried crazy tears after that, on the pavement outside the venue, partly at the irony of this, partly the despair, partly the ridiculousness of my silly self! I have issues for sure 😀 Then it got surreal. Jude went to buy a drink, but came back with a massive box of salad from a deli, absolutely not the sort of thing I expected to find in a random Paris backstreet, nor the sort of thing one can easily eat standing up! So there I was, on the pavement outside the venue, freaking out in tears, eating an amazing, messy, crazy vegan salad box and finding it all hilarious 😀 Oh Jon, what are you doing to me?! We met some more wonderful French and American SwitchFam though (including a sweet guy who lent Jude a phone charging pack for the night), and enjoyed hanging out. If any of you are reading this; I do apologise for the state I was in!

Then the show! A fun, sweary band opened for them, with amazing rhythms and time signature changes. Then Switchfoot came on with a totally rocked out set! It was crazy, hot and sweaty, so rocked out, and the guys were just having a great time. It was the first time they’d ever played in France! They were so happy to be there, and the crowd was overjoyed to be hosting them. I got front row near Drew, so I got to watch his soloing and guitar work up close. The stage was very low, and the venue small and intimate, which made for an incredible show.

Watching my videos back from this show after I returned I have to admit that they are truly terrible, there’s just noise and sweaty people and jumping; but they do give a good feel for how rocked-out this one was and what it was like to be front row there, so I’ve still put them online. Here are Sabotage, Bull In A China Shop and Stars, hope I don’t make you seasick 😉

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Jon came over and sang ‘Don’t let go’ to me during Needle, we brought out two packs of Oreos and danced with them during Love Alone (‘oreo, oreo…’), and though they almost played Healer Of Souls we got Sabotage instead, which I cannot complain about, it was much fun! Jon went into the crowd for Love Alone, and then as the energy was good he went right into Bull In A China Shop! Wow! There was some crazy Float dancing, which was fun! Jon gave one of his water bottles to a fan who was struggling with the heat. Then they brought it down a little and played Hello Hurricane and Only Hope in the middle of the crowd, 24, Live It Well and Dare.  Stars, Bull… and Live It Well really resonated with me that night, but it was 24 that brought on the tears again.

I could tell the guys were really enjoying themselves; even early on in the gig Jon told the crowd that night had the makings of one of being one of his favourite shows, and towards the end he echoed that, thanking France for the love and saying it was up there.

Then there was an aftershow, sadly cut short by the venue staff at just two songs, but it was still great. He played Before Our Time and Your Love Is Strong, though he was going to play Caroline (‘Is anyone here called Caroline?’ Random guy at the back: ‘I am!!’ ‘You’re the most beautiful Caroline I ever met!’ 😀 ) ‘Caroline’ got a couple of shoutouts at the end too 😀 I was right next to Jon and sang along… and then he was gone.

We both had dead phones by the end of the night and realised we were a bit stuck getting back to the hostel as I’d forgotten my paper map. We asked for directions, but in the end as it was a little complicated we ended up getting a lift back from our French friend, even though she only had one seat in her car and Jude had to hide in the boot! It made for a funny journey and a cute photo 😀

Wowowow! The very best therapy 🙂

Read Part 2 here and Part 4 here

 

Looking for Europe 2: BCDO South, finding the light shines in the darkness

May 27th

We were woken by distant thunder on show day #2. I’d arrived at the BCDO festival campsite late the previous evening and met up again with Jude, M, and some other fellow UK fans, and we were all camped together. We had a chilled late evening and morning hanging out on the campsite together, drinking Switchfoot related beverages, eating chocolate, dodging rain showers and jamming Switchfoot and Brooms songs together.

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Eventually we wandered onto the festival site, went over to Switchfoot’s merch stall where some of my friends picked up their first ever items of merch, and then went over to the interview tent. As hoped, the guys were indeed giving an interview that afternoon, so we all met up again to watch that.

You can watch the interview here. Romey and Jon were interviewed this time, we got a wave hi from them at the start. Bizarrely, and I’m still confused about why, Kitty Jon* got pulled up on stage and Jude had to explain it! They talked about honesty, hope, what success means as an artist… which is the heaviest vegetable… and as Jon was talking about the chaos and madness of what can happen in live music he shot just a tiny split-second glace in our direction with a twinkle in his eye! Jon got asked did they ever get told stories from their fans about what their music has done, and he looked at me and smiled, ‘Yes all the time, someone here was at our show in Amsterdam…’ At the end there was a great question about how they don’t like to be boxed in by labels but ‘where are you most comfortable, leading worship or reaching non Christians’? Jon’s response was very deep and wise and inclusive; we’re all searching, all hungry for something bigger, Christian or not, God doesn’t draw lines between us but sees us all as His children. But I noticed he referenced something I’d written to him (whether consciously or more likely not), that what he does is always his worship, ‘worth-ship’, when you sing you take people with you.

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The afternoon was rather dominated by chaos and chasing round trying to find out what was happening with VIP. Eventually through running back and forth we found tour manager Chico and got in. Tim was with his family so wasn’t there but I met the others and we asked each other how we were – they were much better having had a wonderful day off in Brighton with Martin Smith (who I spotted backstage too!), but I told them about my bus journey: ‘This is what I do for you guys!’ 😀 Drew asked what I thought of the festival, and I had to be honest and said it felt a bit of a weird bubble! A guy was there from the Philippines, he was so happy as it was his first time meeting them, and he got to speak to Romey. I got a hug from Romey, who asked where the cat was: ‘In here (pointing to my bag) – but I tell you what, I’ll let the cat out of the bag’ 😀 (Jon then made precisely the same joke!) I got a picture with Jon and Kitty Jon; real Jon said ‘Some people are cat people; some people are Cat People. I’m Cat Man – you got Cat Woman, we need Cat Man!’ 😀 On seeing the photo afterwards one of my friends pointed out that Jon was dressed almost identically to Kitty Jon, and indeed it would have been perfect if he had been wearing his hat! Switchfoot were talking to Jude about Amsterdam and she said  she loved how they improvise the setlist, so I jumped in and told them I was waiting for them to stick in Healer of Souls as so many British fans were into that one… let’s see 🙂

Jude also remembered to ask the question we’ve all been wanting to know the answer to; what is the little end track on New Way To Be Human?? Jon answered right away: ‘Chin 105 – it’s a fake radio station!’ :O 😀 It’s a jingle?! :O I told him there’d been a lot of theories going around; he liked ‘chew on a pie’! 😀

And then wow the concert!! We got pretty much front row or nearby, and were treated to a full hour of epic rock! They did not play Healer of Souls, nor any of M’s other picks (he’d said they would be neglecting their duty to rock’n’roll if they didn’t play that, Holy Water, Bull In A China Shop or Where The Light Shines Through!), but it was still awesome; they rocked up Gone again, and played us Stars, We Are One, Your Love Is A Song (that solo gets more awesome every time!), and opened with Float this time. It was a great set of songs that spanned their career, and I definitely felt they did not neglect their duty to rock! I particularly loved hearing them play so much from Nothing Is Sound, that album is very special to me.

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And then…

After a wonderful evening, we got word of an aftershow over at the chapel. And disaster struck. We rushed down there, to find a security guard and a locked gate; that part of the site would not be open until 10:30. The tweet had said 10. Tried another gate; same result. Went back. No luck. Tried the second gate again. By this time I had got separated from everyone, and the crowds were building up around the very small gate and beginning to press in. And I broke. The chaos out there and the chaos in here collided; the first thing was the heartbreak of being shut out from the aftershow. Then the pressing crowd and the anxiety around that; I felt like I might be hurt, I got scared. Then the despair on having to duck out and return to my tent. Then alone in the tent, all my most painful thoughts assaulted me…

Depression won that night. If he’d have said 10:30, and/or I hadn’t been ill, and/or his music didn’t mean so very much to me it would have been ok, but it was as it was. I just couldn’t stop crying. It went far beyond a missed aftershow into some very painful places. I let the thoughts assault me, let the tears come, and tried to hang on through it all, every let up in the assault a chance to take some deep breaths and pray and search for light and hope, until I could clearly see the brightness of everything good that had happened so far, and the strength of hope, standing in strong contrast to the excruciating pain.

M came back eventually and tried to persuade me to go over once it was 10:30 but by then I was too hurting and brain-fogged to be able to think clearly or to move. And then the others came back. They’d caught the end half of what had turned out to be a beautiful hour long solo set**. I was, and especially now am, relieved and extremely happy for them that they got to see it, but at the time my heart just splintered into pieces; that was my dream, and I’d been shut out of it, and I felt like a failure….

 

*I should explain; Jude and I have a mascot, a soft toy black and white cat named Jon after the real Jon and his climbing abilities… and tendency to end up places he’s not sure how to get back down from 🙂

**This is what I missed: Aftershow vid

Read Part 1 here and part 3 here